Whew Wednesday: Food Was Never Just Food

Hey Lil Dani,

Let’s take you back.

Do you remember the sound of grease popping in Grandma’s kitchen?

Do you remember watching Grandma Wilma season chicken without measuring a thing? A little of this. A little of that. Somehow, always enough.

Yeah, you do.

Do you remember your aunties talking, laughing, and gossiping in the background?

Yep, you do.

Neighbors fixin plates. Grandpa was praying over us all. Somebody asks, “Did you eat?” Somebody was making sure everybody had something.

And let’s be honest… somebody was also watching that last piece of chicken.

Hmm. That was good.

You did not know it then, but you were learning more than how to fry chicken.

You were learning that food could feel like comfort.

Like community. Like safety. Like home.

And baby girl, you carried that with you.

WHEW. Pause. Breathe. Shift.

Have you ever smelled something cooking and suddenly felt like a kid again?

That is because food does not just live in our stomachs.

Sometimes, food lives in our memories.

We return to what once made us feel safe.

Sometimes that is a song.

Sometimes that is a person.

Sometimes that is a place.

Sometimes that is a plate.

Maybe food was never just food.

Maybe it was how we celebrated.

How we connected.

How we comforted ourselves after hard days.

How we loved on people when words did not come easily.

And sometimes, what we call a craving is really a memory asking to be held.

That does not mean we should feel guilty.

It means we should get curious.

Because sometimes we are not just hungry for food.

Sometimes we are hungry for rest.

For peace. For softness. For connection.

For something steady in the middle of life constantly life-ing.

There is a difference between being full and being nourished. At IIN, I learned about primary food and secondary food.

Secondary food is what is on the plate.

Primary food is everything else that feeds us: love, rest, purpose, peace, connection, joy, and feeling safe in our own lives.

And sometimes, the body keeps reaching for secondary food when the soul is asking for primary food.

This week, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What have I really been hungry for lately?

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Hi, I’m Dr. Dani J. Your homegirl next door who’s done the work and has some stuff to share with you.

Welcome!

About Whew Wednesday

A midweek return to yourself. A pause in the middle of life constantly life-ing. A space for honest reflection, real conversations, and the journey back to wholeness.

Here, we explore the things feeding us beyond the plate: rest, relationships, peace, purpose, softness, connection, and the memories we carry.

No perfection. No pretending. No pressure. Just Whew Wednesday.


Reflection

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Researchers have shown that we think more than 50,000 thoughts per day, of which more than half are negative and more than 90% are just repeats from the day before (Wood, 2013).

Our thoughts govern our behaviors and if we don’t make time to take an introspective look at how we are thinking and behaving, we may miss an opportunity to grow and develop.

We are governed by our thoughts, and it's important that we pay close attention to the internal thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations, because they dictate our behavior. Making time to refocus, will eliminate missed opportunities (growth and development).

Much like we change the oil in our cars to increase their performance and longevity, we should put forth this same effort to increase our performance and longevity through personal reflection.

To take the power away from the distractions of our modern, fast-paced lives, and to help us refocus on fulfillment, we must first enhance our ability to understand ourselves, and to learn more about our own motivations and values.

Reflective exercises don’t always help you identify and understand your unique strengths and talents.  Sometimes, reflective exercises uncover things that are making you dreadfully unhappy, things that are annoyances; a single issue that requires no attention. 

Today, I challenge you to take a moment to reflect, recharge, and refocus. Below is a link to my self-reflection worksheet to assist you with your self-reflection exercise.

 If through this self-reflective exercise you find that you could benefit from working with a thought partner who can help you make sense of what you are thinking; partner with you to create goals to help you recharge and refocus; I’m here for you.

 Everyone is worthy of a coach.

Stay well,
Danyelle

Click here to access the self-reflection worksheet.

References

Wood, K. (2013). The lost art of introspection: Why you must master yourself. Expert Enough. Retrieved from http://expertenough.com/2990/the-lost-art-of-introspection-why-you-must-master-yourself

Destiny Odyssey (n.d). Self Awareness Worksheet. Retrieved from https://destinysodyssey.com/the-odyssey/self-discovery/self-awareness/personal-identity-workshops/self-awareness-worksheet/